The letter box
Written by Gayatri Barua

Meet Martha Graham. She stays in Dover in a lovely little cottage close to the sea. Ten years ago, she had decided to settle down in Dover. Her daughter, Jennifer's voice still echoes in her head, " Mamma, if you decide to stay in Dover, we will all be there with you every weekend and on all holidays". That was 15 years ago. Today, Martha is a very lonely lady.

Her world revolves around Tosca. He is her best friend. And Tosca is a very intelligent and mischievous cat. He is a handful for Martha...irritating, entertaining and sometimes agonizing her with his playful antics.

Martha loves Tosca. When she feels insecure, she holds on to Tosca tight. He gazes at Martha, purrs and acknowledges her love.

With time, Martha has learnt to face the truth about her children. She comforts herself by thinking that they are very busy, and they have a family of their own. But whenever she goes out of the house, she never forgets to peep in to the letter box, to check if there are any letters from them.

When Martha finds nothing inside, she holds Tosca and says, " Do you know, my son is the head of a top company, and he does not have the time to eat his meals also, and my daughter, she loves me a lot, but as she is a teacher, its not possible for her to leave her school and come, even if she wants to….They love me very much ", mumbling to herself and to Tosca, she walks away. Tosca sees the teardrops well up in her eyes. He clings onto her tight. It is the same scene everyday.

Suzie, a six year old kid lives near Martha's house. She loves gardening. Every morning, after her gardening exercise she gets food for her little white mouse. Every day, a silent witness absorbed in watching Suzie talk to her mouse is Tosca.

On some days he would hear her say to Winnie, " Winnie, I like that little game that you play? Won't you play with me again ".

Once he even heard her speak rather sharply to Winnie, " Why aren't you eating today? Winnie. I won't talk to you if you won't hurry up and finish your food ". Then she would cuddle up Winnie who would quickly gobble up his food as soon as she had warned him.

Fascinated, Tosca would hang on to every word that Suzie spoke to Winnie. He would sit absorbed - almost in trance like state as he listened to the most amazing stories that Suzie would sometimes sit down and tell Winnie.

Then one day Suzie told Winnie to watch what she was going to write. Suzie got her colour paints, and started drawing a heart and wrote I love you. She showed the paper to Winnie and said, " Look! this is for you Winnie! ". Suzie spread out her hands wide and said " I love you Winnie. This much - as big as the whole world ". Tosca watched Winnie again. He saw Winnie running all around squeaking happily. Tosca returned home in deep thought.

That day, Martha scolded Tosca for going there. She had a nagging suspicion that Tosca was eyeing poor Suzie's mouse and one of these days, he was going to gobble up Winnie for lunch.

Angrily, she said to him, " Here comes the greedy cat! aren't you happy with the food I give you! How dare you go there? Don't you look at that mouse again!"

Tosca, noticing Martha's anger slunk away to a forgotten corner place in the house. He looked at Martha, from that far away place. Even from such a distance, Martha's
booming voice was louder than ever.

Watching her silently, he fell asleep. He dreamt about Martha and himself in a big open field, dancing and playing. He saw Martha talking to him and loving him. Suddenly, a warm hand came and picked him up. Tosca woke up to see that he was in Martha's lap.

Martha told him, " you are my friend, and I don't like my friend behaving like this ". Tosca looked at Martha and then seeing her pained look; he cuddled back onto her lap and went to sleep.

The next day; Tosca saw Martha stitching. Martha looked at him and smiled. She stroked him fondly and said " That's my friend ". She got busy with her work. After awhile, she looked at Tosca, and saw that he was not there. Martha sighed nervously and looked around for Tosca.

She looked everywhere. Dreading the worst, she ran out to the road, but was relieved to see he was not there. As she came walking slowly towards her house, she saw her pet hiding behind a bush and watching the mouse. Suzie was drawing something with her brush and she was unaware of Tosca.

Martha seeing this ran and caught Tosca by the scruff of his neck and brought him home. She had seen the look in Tosca's eyes. And she knew what it meant. Tosca adored Suzie and may be even that silly, pesky little mouse. She was furious. Betrayed. Hurt.

For the very first time in her life Martha actually spanked Tosca. She wished he would eat up Winnie and scratch Suzie.

She yelled out in rage, " You too, Tosca! How dare you! I loved you! You meant so much to me, but you are just like my children. I do not exist for them anymore. No one loves me. I have nobody in this world. I trusted you and took you as my friend. Now, you too have betrayed me. Go away! I don't need you. I can live by myself ".

She opened the window overlooking the hills and started weeping. Tear drops trickled down her face.

Tosca ran away to the other room. At about midnight, Martha heard a noise. She ignored it and tried to sleep. She remembered the day, when Tosca had come to her home. He was a cute kitten. Why! He even had the same look in his eyes today, as he had had on the day that she had adopted him.

She couldn't believe this! Betrayed by a pet. Probably this had never happened to anyone before. Her world was shattered! She sobbed into the pillow. Feeling lost, miserable and alone.

In the morning, Martha got busy with her usual morning chores. The last evening's incident came back vividly, once again as she arranged Tosca's breakfast. She tried to distract herself telling herself that he was after all a cat. She must be imagining all this. It mustn't be true.

She just needed to love him a little more. She had been very grumpy the last few weeks.
Probably that was getting on poor Tosca's nerves.

" Toscie Baby! Breakfast! " She called, trying out a bright, cheerful tone that she used to call out to him when he had been a baby.

He was nowhere in sight. Martha was thoughtful but not worried. She comforted herself, Tosca must have gone for a walk by himself. After doing some errand in the house, she too got ready to go to the market.

Slowly, she walked out of the house and towards the front gate. Once again, she looked around for her friend but he was nowhere to be seen. She stood grieving for a few moments, worried and panic stricken.

Then, slowly she walked to the letterbox as she had done for 10 years now.

Martha did not expect a letter. She knew there would be no letter but what if there was one. She lived on hope. Just as she was about to walk back from the letter box after having a quick peep, she realized that she had seen something in it. Martha quickly opened the box where she saw a crumpled piece of paper. She hurriedly opened it.

There was nothing written on it. Instead all there was were some red spots on the paper that looked like an untidy design. She stared hard at it. Confused. She looked around thinking that someone must be trying to tease her.

Disappointed, Martha crushed the piece of paper in her hand and stashed it away in her purse - meaning to throw it as soon as she returned home. She latched the gate and started walking towards the road. She had been walking for nearly 45 minutes
.
Walking was good for her. It normally distracted her. Today, her mind was too full of the letter with the strange red spots and wavy scrawls. She was now nearly 3 kilometres away from her home.

Just as she was reaching the second lane near the supermarket, from a distance she saw a cat resting on the pavement. She wondered to herself, was it an abandoned cat? Was he ill? Wounded?

As she came closer, she could clearly see the back of a cat - orange and white stripes with one white front paw - just like her Tosca.When she did come really close, she couldn't believe her eyes. It was indeed Tosca. And he had travelled so far. All alone.

Beside herself with joy, she almost ran towards Tosca. He looked at Martha reproachfully and did not move.

She called out apologetically, "Tosca, I am sorry. I really am. You must be still upset with me. Come home, Tosca…"

As she bent down to pick up Tosca, Martha noticed his front paws red. Was that blood dripping?

Alarmed, she screamed, " What's happened to your paws, Tosca. Why are you bleeding? "

Then suddenly a thought flashed through her mind.She lifted the paw and smelt it.It was not blood. It was paint.

Martha immediately realized that what she had nearly thrown away was actually a letter from Tosca.

Tenderly, she lifted Tosca and held him very close to her.

Her voice choked with emotion - she was barely able to whisper to him, " Thank you Tosca, I loved that letter you sent me.It means so much to me. I love you, Toscie baby ".